Where did all my workmates go?
I have had quite a few deep and honest conversations with Female Founders and Senior Leaders recently, and a common theme has emerged; just how lonely it is to inhabit those roles. I’ve recently explored this in a Linked In post that created quite a few DMs, so I want to delve deeper with you.
As one female CEO shared with me is “My role has become lonelier as the size of my team has grown. We were once all pitching in together laughing at the chaos and I am now the one people look to for guidance, answers and the direction of travel. I was expecting this level of leading to carry a much bigger responsibility than in the early days. I feel I need to constantly be aware of the ripples my decisions and behaviour make in the wider team.”
In the early days everything is shared and decisions are made out loud as everyone is side-by-side and ‘in it together’. This way of working soon becomes obsolete as teams grow. At this inflection point growing a team with continued success requires paying attention to four things:
Systems transformation
“What once was absorbed by osmosis now needs my careful thought, planning and disciplined implementation”
Where we could lead by a process of osmosis, more people mean not everyone in your team will absorb the direction, key decisions, or understand the important challenges. What once happened by osmosis now only happens if there are systems put in place to support communication and engagement, top down, bottom up, and sideways. What once happened naturally now needs systems carefully thought through, designed, planned and embedded.
Transparency and consistency at this stage is vital. Who is included in what and why so people understand why they are invited to meetings on different topics, or not. Not everyone has to be involved in everything, like the early days, but everyone needs to understand the framwork and systems behind who is involved in what and why. This is especially important when transitioning from small to large teams, it’s important for everyone to understand their inclusion or exclusion at different events, and decisions, based on the responsibilities of the role they are doing, not based on how much you appreciate their effort or output from one month to the next!
Intentional leadership
“My role has become more about leadership and less about my expertise”
Where once we could be really successful at reacting to whatever came our way, we now need to be intentional about what we do and how we do it. Our role now sets the tone for what is and is not acceptable, the stories and beliefs that knit us together, and what is paid attention to. You, your behaviour, decisions, language, ways of working have never been more powerful in influencing how other act, behave and what they prioritise. Your role and how you carry it need intention in what you attend to. We become the one people look to and it can be an isolating shift as growing leadership changes the emotional geometry in the room.
Personal growth
“My role changed and so did the expectations on me but no-one was supporting me?”
Most of us are not born leaders and grow our leadership skills haphazardly with minimal support. My passion to support leaders be the best they can was born from me having no support or training when I found myself in this important transition. I had to learn the heard way, I was truly awful at it, and I had nowhere to turn to for support. Leading is your most important role yet, and you’re expected to just suck it up and grow the right skills overnight and wake up a seasoned, wise leader. This transition is a lonely place to be.
This is the stage where you can’t fully “offload downwards” as you don’t want to burden the people you are responsible for, so you find yourself filtering more than you used to. This is a time to take good care of yourself or risk burning out with holding it all together. Being the final buck where everything stops without sharing that with your colleagues is exhausting. Where you can find support is not obvious.
Community
“I joined a community of other Founders and CEO’s where I didn’t have to be the strong one”
This is a time to look for support from outside of your team or business, to a safe community of people in a similar situation. Growing your leadership will stretch your capacity so don’t let it shrink your support. It requires courage, but it also requires somewhere to put the parts of you that don’t get to show up at work.
If you’re a Female Founder or CEO with a growing team and curious about connection with others in a similar situation get in touch.
I’m also curious to gauge if there is interest from female solopreneurs, or those with a very small team, who could be interested in a Bristol based community, let me know.
Happy connecting!
Sarah
my email my website my Linked In
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I’m Sarah, Founder of Loafspark.
We help mission-driven businesses put down roots in leadership, strategy, and culture for stronger, more sustainable growth. Consultancy, facilitation, programs and coaching for Female Founders and CEO’s £1-£20m and all BCorp leaders £20m+.